Welcome!  Let’s dive in. 

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Let’s talk about ‘self talk’.  What is it anyway?  Where does it come from? And why won’t it shut up? 

Self talk is that endless stream of conversation that happens in your head automatically. 

i.e. your thoughts about yourself.

It comes from:

  • your upbringing

  • memories

  • beliefs, etc. 

Sometimes you can hear the voice of your mother in your thoughts, and sometimes it sounds like the mean girl from high school. 

Whether limiting self talk is something you hear EVERY DAY … whether it shows up when you’re hitting a wall or have messed up, THIS is your guide to silencing that voice and nurturing a much kinder, more empowered voice to speak to you instead.

Your challenge will take you less than 9 minutes a day – totally doable, right? So right now, block out 9 minutes in your schedule for the next few days to do the challenge.

I’ll wait.  

Seriously, make yourself a 9 minute reoccurring appointment on your calendar for the next 5 days that says 

Do My Self-Talk Challenge”.   

Your future self thanks you. ;)

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You know how they say that the hardest part of getting started is taking the first step?  Well guess what, you already MASTERED that!!!   

It’s all cake and champagne now!  

Ok maybe there will be some moments that are deeper than that, but I promise, I’m here for you, and we’re going to do this together.

How self talk shows up is different for each of us —

and Step 1 in the 5 Day Challenge is to simply recognize what yours is saying.

Notice if you: 

  • criticize yourself for your mistakes, harping on a small thing until they seem huge and you feel like you’re a disaster?

  • wrestle against common beliefs like “I don’t have enough time.”

  • start the day with a bump in the road and automatically assume that the rest of your day is going downhill from there?

Sometimes it’s easier to see these things in others.  If you notice someone else diminishing themself, notice if you do that as well.

  • Do you know someone who uses self-depreciating humor or statements that puts themselves down?

  • Is there someone in your life who always seems to have a ‘good reason’ why they can’t do that thing they’ve been talking about?

  • How about that friend you know who “couldn’t possibly say” what needs to be said?

Or maybe those aren’t resonating. Notice if you:

  • On a rough day, do you compare your bad day to others’ annoyingly perfect Facebook days?

  • Wonder if those whispered conversations or laughs are about you?

  • Automatically blame yourself when things go wrong?

  • Tend to ignore or downplay compliments from others and focus only on what you need to improve?

Before we go any further, I want to you note your current daily/weekly experience with these kind of thoughts.  

On a scale of 1-10, how often do you hear this limiting self talk inside?

1 = rarely

5 = a few times a week

10 = several times/day

My current score ______________   Date _______________

Write this score down in your 5 Day Challenge Journal.   (Still need to grab your JOURNAL?  Get it here.)

This is just to measure where you are now so that at the end of the challenge, you can see how you’ve grown.  

So be perfectly honest – no one is judging.  No one will see this BUT YOU.  I promise.

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I met a friend for lunch the other day, and as we were saying hello, I complimented her on her dress.  She shooed away my compliment, mentioning how wrinkled it was from sitting at her desk all morning.  We moved on and later she mentioned that she was experiencing some challenges at work with one of her employees.  She explained the situation and downplayed what she was seeing, saying twice “maybe it’s just me…”  

When I suggested she talk to the woman, she made a face and said “I could never say that to her.” 

Does this sound like it could have been you?

My friend didn’t notice, but her limiting self talk was as clear as the nose on her face. And I heard it over and over.   (She gave me permission to share this story, by the way.)  And every time she voiced those thoughts, they became stronger.

You see, limiting self talk repeats itself because it’s a habit created by the brain. Habits play out without us trying very hard, and the more we repeat them, the stronger they become. 

The habit comes from your mind’s tendency to save energy by scanning your world and making a quick judgement call on what’s happening.  It’s intent is to save all the processing time it would need to weigh out with a fresh start each situation that’s in front of you.  It makes snap judgements from a set of labels that you have. (more on this later this week)

The brain is a pattern-seeking organ.  So once a rule, or belief, is set up, the mind constantly looks for proof that it is true, rather than questioning the very validity of that belief. 

The problem is, in doing so, it often overlooks, discounts or completely ignores evidence that is to the contrary. 

This can happen when your mind obsesses on a boss who made an awkward comment to you, rather than the high-five they gave you yesterday on the quality of your work.  

Based on your specific beliefs about how you are viewed in your world, your mind may give greater importance to that awkward comment than to the high-five —even though this happens without your conscious understanding or agreement.

Is there a way to change this?  Yes you can!  

YOU can get back in the ‘driver’s seat’ of your mind and decide for yourself, intentionally, what is true and what isn’t. 

So today’s Challenge Activity is to ask yourself one simple question. 


As often as you notice a limiting thought today, (i.e.  a thought that makes you feel limited or small), ask yourself as a follow up, is this really true? 

Perhaps you look in the mirror after going off your diet during lunch and your mind says, “Ugh, I’m getting fat.”  Notice you don’t feel great after that though, right?  That’s because it’s limiting self talk. So ask yourself immediately:  “Is that really true?”  You’ll see that no, it’s not.  You may just have eaten differently at THIS meal than you planned to. 

Or this one… you meet with a potential client, who you know needs your services, and you explain your offering.  Then the subject of price comes up, and they don’t immediately sign the contract.  Do you hear this inside:  “It’s because they don’t think I’m worth this price”?  or worse yet, “I’m not worth that price, no wonder they aren’t jumping to purchase.” 

If you hear either of these, stop, and ask yourself, is this really true? 

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To help this sink in, let’s play out the last example.   Is it really true that the potential client doesn’t think you’re worth the price of your service or product?  

Lets see… Perhaps she might need to think it over first before committing.  

Or she could have just made a big purchase, like a new home, and isn’t quite ready for the next investment, or maybe her lunch isn’t agreeing with her and that face she’s making is due to indigestion.  

Any of these could be true!  

In that moment, if you weaken the hold on that negative thought, then you set yourself up for rewiring your mind towards more empowering self-speak.

Tomorrow we’ll talk about what to do next. 

Until then, know that I believe you are an amazing woman … and just notice what your thoughts are saying to you about you

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Anything you share in the Facebook community can help you get clarity, and will assist others too.  You’ll hear you aren’t the only one struggling with this. The people in this group are so supportive and incredible, plus its kinda like therapy!  

Kidding, it’s not, but you get my drift. 

You don’t want to miss out!  Can’t wait to see you over there!  Click the image below to visit our Facebook Group (or search Ambitious Leaders in your FB app to find us.)

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:  Copyright © 2019 Property of Leila Ansart

This private document meant for the personal use of Leila Ansart’s private clients. You are permitted to use information for your personal benefit. You are NOT PERMITTED to package, retransmit, or distribute, or sell this privately licensed copy for use or redistribution by you or any other person, company, or entity. In other words, you are allowed to use it, but you do not have the authority or legal permission to allow other people to use it in any capacity. Failure to comply will result in legal indemnification.  If you would like to share this 5 Day Challenge with a friend, please send them to this link:  www.leilaansart.com/start-here. Thank you.